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If O stands for Obsession, what does D and I stand for..??

November 30, 2013

Have you ever felt the irresistible pull to something ? A feeling, you know is so highly irrational that even you find it funny but that does not mask the fact that it exists. Somewhere you think you are bordering insanity but love being insane at that point. Sounds like I am in love…But nah. “I’ve been in love. It’s painful and pointless and overrated” Yeah I am not in love but i am obsessed with the quirky, funky guy in black sexy attire, with an eye color that is so different I can’t name it. who said the above line. I am obsessed with Damon Salvatore (the “D” in the title – duh !!) (Ok if you don’t know him ….I dont have words. Just google him please). He is a little breath taking – literally. The bad boy with a good heart, fun loving, cool at one liners, gets things done, evil with a wide stroke of pain that makes him evil, angelic to the one he loves and evil to anyone who harms her. I mean what more do you want ? His charms always masked the other guy in the series – the goody guy with virtues and all. I can’t take my eyes off Damon to glance at Stefan, let alone feel his character.And since I loved the guy in reel life, I checked out his real life. I had to use my vampire-like abilities to track him, my love for him to sense him around. So to do so – I googled him. And the guy was called “Ian Somerhalder” (Now you gotta know it – the “I” in the title.) And like all stars – I lived his life through Wikipedia, shared him memories through google images and felt his joy and pain through the viscous news reports. They guy is lovely in real life too, all lovey-dovey to animals, humble, – that makes him even more appealing. That’s it. I was in – wholly and exclusively obsessed. So I saw him everywhere – well he is a vampire so that’s ok I guess. Whenever I see black, I think “Oh that’s Damon’s color.”. When I see some really-not-so-important-friend having a quirky one liner status, I think “Damon would have said it better”. Ideally when people like me, see sunlight, they should think of artistic quotes, but I think “Damon should have his daylight ring on”.When I see people with pets – I think Ian Somerhalder likes pets. Nina Doberov (she is Ian’s ex girlfriend in real life and plays his love in the series) doesn’t even come in the picture for me really, because it is not some mild crush, it is obsession !! So in short, I have been thinking about a guy, who is god knows where in the world, and the fictional character he plays. Then to add to my misery, I learnt he was gonna play Christian Grey. Really..?????? How can people carry such deadly news around and post it where ever they want. It is a potentially hazardous material and there is no law against it. So someone aimed this weapon against me – and needless to say, I was fatally wounded. For 2 reasons – one it is a fatal combination – Ian & Christian’s character.Second the news was in the past tense – meaning he was, now, not going to play it ever. Some guy, who is too inconsequential to be named is gonna do it. This is like luring someone with a big bowl of ice-cream and then eating it away in front of that someone – that is torture, more specifically Damon-style torture. (See told you – I remember him every second). I merely have vague ideas of how he would look if he played Christian by combining his style in Vampire Diaries and Christian’s character from 50 shades – but that dream can never come true. So now I get one thought of Ian/Damon every 10 seconds, and one thought of Christian every 10 seconds. So together I am having ___ Damon’s per second obsession rate in aggregate. (Do the math – I like Damon so I am not gonna do geeky things like math. I would rather do fun things like section 43B of the Income-tax, Act). Another maddening habit my genius brain has, is to mix every thing up. So then, while doing tax returns of high profile clients, I think of Damon’s tax return and the thought is surprisingly sexy..!!!!! Phew. And now they are going to torture the poor guy on screen. And that is torturing to fans too and surprisingly bordering to extreme 50 shades behavior, only Christian is at the receiving end here. So in short my life is revolving around Damon’s quirky lines, lost in the color of his eyes, enchanted by the dark black of his hair, my phone is subjected to almost 200 pictures of him and my friends are rewarded with excessive Damon ranting.

But somewhere in the high Damons per second obsession rate, my ex per second pain rate decreased. My tension per second rate in office decreased, my friends hear more about him than about my ex and they think it is an improvement. Yes I am obsessed behind this beautiful actor and a wonderful character played by him, but the best part is, even with people obsessed with him – he has a beneficial effect. That’s the beauty of Damon – dark in attire and eyes, but a bright glowing light in his heart…..

From → Humour

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