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Indeed a “New” and “Happy” year

January 4, 2014

After a day of the same old tax stories to be sorted, the excitement of learning something new, the frivolous banter near that office colleague’s desk, I boarded my usual bus. Like all the other teenagers young people, I had my headphones tucked in my ears with some random song playing in the background as I mused about life and work and the city lights and its aura at night. I was unconsciously nodding my head to the rhythm of Avicii, enjoying the beat against my eardrum. I noted somewhere in the back of my mind that the song ended, and the blank space between two songs in the playlist ensued. And I stilled at the sound of the next song. It was our song – Mine and his. The song was not that famous and nor was the movie. I stilled waiting for the memories to fill up in the otherwise normal space in my mind. That is the thing about songs and me – whenever I listen to a particular song, I recollect some memory associated with it.My multi-tasking brain had already started working on how the hell did the ominously dangerous song made it’s way into my sacred and beautiful playlist. All of this happened in just a second. As my hurried hands opened the screen lock on my phone and were about to change the fatal tune, I stilled once more. …I was not really feeling anything. Holy hell – I thought. This can’t be right. I remember myself shuddering at even the slightest hint of this song and being glad that it went out of fashion. “Is it really happening..?” I thought. “Am I really listening to the song without feeling sad, nostalgic, jittery or anything else.?” So, very tentatively and with a little fear and trepidation, I concentrated on the lyrics, dreading every second that the atom bomb of feelings would go off any moment and I will have to face the consequences of not listening to the song for years. That too,face the consequences in a bus. But nothing happened. I could smile and nod and rock my head at the slow beat of the song – just like any other song…And I wanted to clap in a bus full of strangers and say a happy new year to them – It was indeed a “Happy New Year”. Yes, wish the funny looking lanky guy, old lady with unwaxed hands, the cranky conductor – wish all of them a “Happy New Year”. But I just smiled to myself and heard the song after years, enjoyed the lyrics – every word of it and rocked myself at the melody.I could listen to it like any other song. And then I went on a spree – picking out all the soul wrenching songs, heart-breaking, mournful songs which the break-up doctor in you tells you to avoid for …forever. I picked them and heard them – the English sad ones, the Hindi sad ones, all going on behind the shadows of a big smile on my face.

I had been thinking about what to write on the blog about new year. Sure I drank, got drunk and slept and welcomed the new year. But everybody did that. So what was so happy and new about my year. And I had the answer when I was alone in a bus. It is not about others in our life, it is about us. When we change, we see everyone differently. When we have that inner change in us that assures us that we will be happy, no curses or situations or people can make that happiness go away…

So “Happy New Year”…!!!

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