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If you love her, hit “Like”..

April 13, 2014

During an agonizing period of rote studying, it is obvious that the minds of innocent victims drift to better things like books, crushes, and anything except the matter to be studied. During the course of my study hiatus, my drifted-mind, made me read a collection of poems by Rumi. I was astounded by the accuracy to which a picture of one’s feelings can be painted through the use of the right words. I read and re-read the poems and understood exactly what the words meant. the depth of longing in the words and the feelings involved.

While reading I remembered my grandfather telling me that the love during their era was much more potent and pure than today’s dating culture.Reading Rumi’s work made my grandfather’s statement seem to be truer than ever. When I read extracts that describe the loved ones in beautiful detail and revered adoration, I couldn’t help but wonder whether such a love, such an adoration exists in today’s world, I couldn’t help but wonder whether the love they felt then, exists in today’s world, In a world where divorce rates have increased, with certain western countries having a divorce rate of more than 50%, its easy to conclude that it does not. It seems believable that what our forefathers felt and wrote is non existent. But can love really die or reduce in degree…?? As I got to thinking, I realized that we read of only true love, not failed relations in history. Just as we read of significant events in history and not normal events, we learn of great love and not the ones which failed. Also, declaring a love as failed in today’s world would invite much lower societal repercussion than those a decade or a century ago. This simply states that we have grown to understand that staying in a relationship anything less than the love Rumi talks about is unhappiness and injustice to that special someone and we keep on searching.I refuse to believe that the love existent decades ago described in a necklace of words by poets does not exist now. Marriages which do work are examples of such a love in today. The reason being that, there are fewer reasons that mandate a couple to remain in matrimony now than there were then. Hence each matrimony which survives now, is more often than not, due to pure and unadulterated love.

Why did it seem so believable while reading Rumi’s work the we have lost love ? We have faltered when it came to expression of love. In the passage of time, we have forgotten how to express that pure love. Reading Rumi’s poems, the lover would know the love, its depth and have no doubt that it exists. In today’s generation of technology, we use fewer and simpler words while talking. Words used in conversation in any language have become simpler. And expressions of love have become even simpler. Talking can mean texting, tweeting, posting as well. And I wondered, as Rumi expressed emotion after emotion in words beautiful enough for the feelings they carried, what do we do to express love today..?? And as I compared the expressions of love today with those used earlier, I realized that the feelings are the same, the depth the same. However poor expressions make them seem trivial. I have a friend who posts about missing his wife whenever he has to go out of town for work. “Miss you a lot wifey…really” it reads. And with a jolt I realized that the feelings are similar to those of ancient writers like Beethoven. Beethovan, instead of the status said “Ah, wherever I am, there you are also –

Much as you love me – I love you more –

Oh God – so near! so far!

Is not our love truly a heavenly structure, and also as firm as the vault of heaven?”

Both these men miss their loved ones. The only difference, is that the expression has changed and become simpler. Social media has made it even simpler. But ultimately, it is nothing but a confession of deep longing for her,now expressed to the world via social media. Men in the ancient times were known to “brood about their beautiful loved ones in the shadows of the night under the moonlight and telepathically their hearts would enter a conversation.” Now, we text each other for hours at night, neither one wanting to sleep. Is the feeling any different ? Technology has made it easier, but the intensity of feelings is, I believe, still the same.The mighty soldier, then, would very subtly tell Miss White “Might I say that the colour complements your skin tone.” Now the investment banker very subtly lets her know on Watsapp “You looked pretty cool today.”

Sometimes, these simple languages, easy communications and easy love leads to a fault in expression of love, As they say “Language is to woo a woman”. In a world of “Watsup, I misssed u” we falter to let her know that what we really mean is “I miss you. So much that I cannot concentrate and I wish I could drop everything and be with you, for that is what my heart desires.” When liking her picture is one mouse click away, we forget to let her know that the “Like” means you look as beautiful and heavenly as I can ever imagine and that the picture brings me happiness. Where declaration of relationships means changing the “Relationship status” we forget to remind her that what we are actually doing is letting the whole wide world know that “I love you, I am committed to you and that there is no one else I wish to have”. Words when said correctly have the power of communicating feelings in the most accurate and unadulterated form and we seem to have forgotten this power in maze of clicks and #s and internet slangs.

When love is just a “Like”, explaining that “Like” is becomes essential. Sometimes, it is appeasing to let the Beethovan in you come out for her, and let her know what that “Like”, that status, that message, that kiss, that emoticon really meant to you….because after all, is your love any different than Beethovan’s…???

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